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Pakistani English mixed marriage (her story)

 

True and uplifting story by a British Pakistani girl about her experiences and what she endured to be with the man she loves. Her husband's side of the story is also published here.

My Story, by Nafiza

 

 

Mine goes something like this, it is rather long so bare with me thank you.

I had a fairly reasonable upbringing. My parents were muslims and thus I was bought up to be a muslim. I practised a little when my mum used to complain that we, my siblings and I, would rot in hell for not learning our religion. My life was fairly good until my parents decided to get myself and my sister married to our first cousins from pakistan. I was 18 at the time and my sis was 17. My father had been pressured into getting us married quite young because our grooms-to-be were a few years older, and their parents (my paternal uncle, and maternal aunt) were to be my in laws. My sister and I did object to getting married as we were both in high school and didn't feel that we were ready for such a life changing experience just yet, especially when the men in question were total strangers to us.

Alas as fate would have it we both got married in pakistan and returned to britain  a month after the weddings.
Everything was fine my husband moved to Britain (what a cringeworthy moment that was lol) I worked all the hours God sent to apply for his visa- this was not out of choice but my father pressured me to work overtime everyday to make sure that my wages would reflect that I would be able to financially support him.


By 2003 I had two children both boys and a total joy to have.

By this time in my life I was 23 years of age. I never was given an oppurtunity to better myself in any way, as my parents wanted me to live my life as a house wife and not to celebrate my individuality in any way shape or form.


I still worked long hours but my then hubby decided he was going to take a long abstinence from work. I saw my children for half an hour every evening b4 putting them to bed and then I wud see them again the following evening at half 8 when I finished work.

It was during this time that I started to feel an emptiness in my life, I worked so hard to pay for my house and everything else but never had the chance to spend it with my kids. My husband at this point began to grate on me. I asked him many times to find work but he wud laugh it off, saying he was on holiday and that I was working so he didn't have to.

It was during this time that I met S., we both worked together, and we used to talk all the time. Our relationship developed from colleagues to friendship, and then more as time progressed.

A few months into our relationship I realised that I was falling in love with him and that I had never been in love before so was quite surprised at my emotions when I decided I wanted a divorce from my husband.

To cut this whole essay short, I asked for a divorce. I didnt get it instead me and stewart ran away with my children just to be found by my brothers and taken back home. My family pressurized me so much, the emotional blackmail they used was so sickening that I told them where I was (some bloody travel inn in leicester) my eldest bro told me he would get me a divorce from my husband and that he would help me get married to S. but I had to do it the right way (if there ever is one). He told me to tell him where I was so that he could speak to the both of us and that he would definitely help us get together (so bloody naive).

Anyway the shit hit the fan as soon as he walked in and saw stewart he started to eff and eff I was escorted home with my children and taken to his house, I was watched 24/7 and my children were not left in my care just in case I tried to leg it again.

Anyway I managed to run away again with my kids a month down the line, without the help of S. I was worried what my family would do to him if they thought he had something to do with me going missing again. I was 24 yrs old by this time.

Me and S met up again a few months down the line and in November we moved in together. At this point I was sending my boys back where my parents lived to have contact with thier father. It was during one of these contact visits that my father helped my husband abduct my children to pakistan.

It took 9 months and an excellent solicitor to get my kids back, but we did it.

Today we have another addition to our family- my daughter who is soon to turn three.

I finally got a divorce from my ex even though it took three years to get it. I have a non existent relationship with my family, I speak to my parents and my sis over the fone and thats about it. I visit once a year with my boys, and it is only now that my parents have started to accept my realtionship.

For people who are single and are in a mixed relationship you think you have it hard try one where your already married have kids and then fall in love.

Well we survived and managed to have a succesful relationship with each other without the support of my side of the family. S's parents are very supportive and very loving towards us all.

The moral to this story is: You can come through some very rough times, believe me losing my kids for 9 months was hell on earth, so telling your parents you're in a mixed relationship doesnt seem all that bad to me.

PS the other moral to this story is dont be lazy and have long holidays from work cos your wives may just fall in love and run away to build a life of thier own.


Thank you for reading this.

 

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